“Do the next thing”

While I trip over yet another pair of tan Army boots, I sometimes feel like kicking myself! Should I have made Adam pack up his room before he left on Sunday for Boot Camp? Should I have made Micah do it last year, or Erik two years before that?  ’Cause I did.

Reality is that our big old house is 110 years old and we are always renovating.  This makes bed accommodations tricky. It’s not like we’re just emptying their room over a weekend so we can do a Heroes Home Makeover for them to return to or anything cool like that. They don’t get to be like the college student who just goes away and comes back to the same Red Sox posters, trophies and cds still where they left them.   We keep rearranging what we do with the rooms, while in the process of trying to make them more functional and finished. In 2008 Erik’s room became Micah’s, making Micah’s and Adam’s room just Adam’s room.  When Erik came home for holidays we threw an extra bed into Adam’s room.  When Erik left again, the bed went back to the attic.  Then, when Micah left in 2010, his room became the computer repair depot, (if you know our family, you know whay we need such a thing!)  When Micah and Erik both returned, they set up beds in the now half-finished attic.

This week, with Adam making his trek to Boot Camp, Micah and Erik are moving into Adam’s room. It’s time to get back up into that attic and finish it.  All the walls are drywalled, but only half have been taped and primered, and the storage system has to be installed into the knee walls.  Anyway, I checked in on Micah while he was setting up in the room above the kitchen. Micah commented that Adam left one knick knack shelf intact, and another pile on the bureau. I said, “Yeah, there is an emotional element to packing up your whole life, (wrenching,) and going off to boot camp. Combine them and it can be tough to handle.” Then after lingering a few minutes while he worked, I walked away wondering if I should have “done that” to each of them; made them reduce their childhood to plastic bins.

I remember when I left for college.  I packed boxes for “College”, and also boxes for “Maine”.  We lived in MA at the time and once I left for school, my Dad moved our family to Maine.  Actually, my Mom and sister had already moved up ahead of my Dad….so it was all a very non-traditional “Send your oldest daughter off to college” experience. In fact, my friend’s Mom took me shopping for school.  I think of both of them whenever I see my old steamer trunk. That is a precious memory, and a foundation for the years the followed when I wasn’t afraid to let other older women play a role in my life.  At times I really needed it.

Later that day, when I dropped in on Micah again during his moving in process he said, “I’m just going to leave that shelf and Adam’s stuff there on the wall; it won’t hurt anything.” It was so comforting to know that Micah got it. I wonder if when I mentioned the emotional stress that might have caused Adam to not pack some things, Micah started remembering back to last year when he did the exact same thing.  He packed most things, but there were still things for me to take care of so that the room could be used for it’s next purpose.  I bet Micah just remembered and decided it was ok.

I tear up now and then at the thought of how they have all grown to be men who care about each other and don’t barrel through life recklessly heedless of others. By God’s grace, He has led us through and sometimes despite the emotional struggle, allowed hard things in their lives that make them who He wants them to be. God’s plan for each of them needs some very specific experiences, and if we shelter and protect too much, we’ll be denying Him the training that He has in mind for them.

Now, to figure out whose Army boots are in the hall…